Memoirs of a Beautiful Mess PART 1

Memoirs of a Beautiful Mess

November, oh November.

I felt dysfunctional. I’m whole but torn up inside. I was standing on the platform, but I felt unstable. I felt alone.

Friends come and go, they say. I think that was tattooed on my mind so I don’t want to be too attached to friends. I fear they might disappear.

In my life, I have welcomed new people, new friends. These friends, we laugh together, bond together, we have known each other until we became really close. I learned to love these people but still not giving them my best like I had given before. Long time ago, we were deserted by a friend and I have moved on. But I have learned a lesson; that no matter how you want to hold on to the friendship, sometimes it just slips out of your hands. And sadly, I’m still carrying that pain in my heart. And I just realized that this month. I didn’t know I was still walking in the darkness of my past friendship. The fear of trusting again, I still carry it even to my new friends. I didn’t know that .Because of this, I have hurt my friends. I hurt them because I don’t notice the little things they do for me. I don’t appreciate the things they do. This is because I know that it’ll be just temporary. But they changed my perspective. They taught me that yes it is true. Friends really do come and go but that shouldn’t hinder me from being happy and giving my best to my friends. Don’t be afraid to trust again because yes, there will come a time when they will leave you and you’ll leave them but at least, you became happy being with them. While it’s still there, treasure every moment you get. And that is such a rewarding feeling.

And I feel whole and alive. I am standing proudly on a platform. I feel someone’s at my back.


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