Memoirs of a Beautiful Mess PART 2

Memoirs of a Beautiful Mess

December: A season of love, indeed. And I’d like to think this month is memorable. It is a successful month, I believe, because I have spread love not caring if I’ll get in return. This month, I had a great achievement, a great leap in my life for I learned how to share love to the best I can. I showed love in little ways and It feels so damn good. It feels so good making someone happy, making someone smile. What is so special about this achievement? Well, I’m really a type of person who is willing to give love but you know, still at the back of my mind, I want to receive in return, the same way I had given it. But this time, it did not matter if the care or help I gave will be reciprocated. The important thing is, I know that I’m happy giving love. And I super thank the Mayans for they mistakenly predicted that December 21 is the doom’s day, because it allowed me to do things I wouldn’t normally do. I said things I wouldn’t have said. This month of December, I’ve never been this better. I feel free. I feel energized. I feel like I have to treasure every single moment, which is really good to feel. This month, a lot of problems were encountered but I feel stronger than them and I am happy solving them one by one. I learned how to love life. it is surprising because I honestly want more of those “end of the world” days, because that’s the only time I make a move. I even told a guy friend how I love it when he makes fun of me and makes me laugh. I, Ma. Vanessa P. Hidalgo, would never do such crazy thing, but I did! And I feel so proud of myself because personally, I don’t say what I feel or think. I was braver and stronger.

This December, it wasn’t all about good happy things. In December, I experienced a heart break. Yes, I listened to sad songs and stayed in my room telling myself how I hate him so much. But, I guess, it was the best heartbreak ever. It taught me lessons. How life can be like a rollercoaster sometimes and how love hurts. But I was thankful to experience these emotions, because how can I expect myself to grow without being hurt. It taught me what to prioritize; that love is not the thing for me right now. I’ll just concentrate on the more important things. So, help me God. J And the greatest thing I got from this, is that I realized how strong I can be. To smile even though you’re going through a lot. And yes, I am proud of myself. So, thank you for the guy who broke this fragile heart of mine, because look at me now, You have made me stronger. And I do not regret meeting him at all, because at one time he served as my inspiration when I’m losing strength and at one time, he was the reason of my happiness. You have taught me so many things and thank you for being part of my life. What a painful yet wonderful experience to end my year! I look forward to the year 2013 and I hope that the lessons I have learned in December will be applied to all the months of my life. I ♥ December.

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